First impressions really matter. Research shows it takes about seven seconds for people to form an opinion about you, and only a few minutes to decide whether they trust you or not. Some studies say that about eight out of ten hiring decisions are influenced by how a person comes across in those first few moments.
Throughout my life, I have never been the kind of person who makes a strong first impression. I do not even have the courage to narrate some of the experiences and how many opportunities I have lost because of it. In every new space I have joined, I rarely stood out at the beginning. My friendships often formed later, after people had already settled in. These days, that doesn’t bother me much, although it used to matter a great deal.
The more I grow, the more comfortable I become with this reality. I have also noticed that there are many people who start very strongly at first, often struggling to keep that same energy. They begin with confidence and excitement, but over time, they lose it. Keeping an impressive image all the time is not easy. Eventually, the real person shows up.
We all try hard to appear at our best because that is what everyone tells us to do. It is the natural. It makes us feel safe. There is nothing wrong with that. But I have learned that while working on your first impression, it is equally important to work on the real you. The person your friends, classmates, and colleagues will deal with long after that first meeting is over.
There are times I wished I had made a better first impression, especially in places where I didn’t get a second chance. People say there is no second impression, and when your first one fails, no one may stay long enough to know the real you.
Still, trying too hard to impress can also work against you. When you overdo it, you raise expectations you cannot meet. The same happens with organizations. Some focus too much on branding and forget about the actual service or the way staff behave. The greatest trouble for an organization often comes from the gap between its image and its reality. A fancy logo cannot hide poor service.
What I am really saying is that there must be a fair balance between making a good impression and being authentic. A first impression starts to fade as soon as you move past that first meeting. Focusing on one and forgetting the other does not help. If you only work on your inner self but never get noticed, your value may go unseen. If you only work on how people see you without any depth, you will end up being like an empty drum, making a lot of noise but with nothing inside.
If you have to choose, choose both.
And if you cannot, just work on your real you. Work harder to have a better version of yourself and let the impression take care of itself.
This advice may not apply to everyone in the same way. Some cultures value first impressions more than others. So take time to understand your culture, your people, and your environment. But one thing never goes out of style, being real.